....

[Gbm]

Um. Not sure really sure on how to start this thread so it would make sense. But my mom went to the doctor yesterday, and was told to go back at the end of Feb. and while she was at it made an appointment for me too. She did it because I've asked before in the past to kinda wanting to see a doctor for my ADHD.

I'm usually not one to want to cram pills down my throat all the time. One reason being because I would probably forget to take them or don't feel like it/want to. The last time I took anything to help me was when I was in school, and that's because the last two schools I went to wouldn't allow me to attend them unless I was taking something. I've taken both Ritalin and Adderall, and I think something else that I've forgotten, both had almost the same effect. I didn't want to eat or do anything but sit by myself and do whatever, usually read or play a game, draw/write. I did do school work but most of it I didn't want to do to because apparently I would tell the teachers "I already know the answers, this is boring". Sometimes I did know them, other times I didn't. I think Adderall was the one where I did nothing but sit and talk to people once and a while. Most of the kids at school liked that since I annoyed all the kids in my schools, and some really hated me for it too. I've always had a problem with err suicidal ideation, I've attempted a few times but obvs failed, unless I'm some weird ghost that can still type.

I also have a really mood problem(most people think it's Bipolar), I used to get very angry either over stupid crap or I actually had a right too. One kid stole my Rugrats watch that my mom bought me and then stole another one that I got from the movie with my grandfather(I'm pretty sentimental) so I told the kid I was going to kill him, and I ended up breaking his nose, I think, all I remember was his nose and most of his face having blood on it. And another time I threw one of my shoes at a teacher and I remember picking up a chair too. I still become very happy/unhappy easily, almost like a stupid light switch, 30minutes from now I'll be happy/content as heck and hours later will be upset or angry at something.

Anyways, I had most of my ADHD problems under control as I got older. I usually control them better when I'm not tired... I really hate to annoy people or tick them off since I don't like how it feels to be angry so why should I make others feel that way?

Since I've been starting to work for various people I find it like I'm back at school again. A guy will tell me what to do, how to do it, when to, right down to the point of explaining every detail. I can hear him, and probably his words, but it's not going through no matter how much I focus on him. That usually leads the guys to get really, really, ticked off at me and then they start yelling at me calling me whatever the fuck and I'll either ignore it or yell back. I had one kid actually slam his fists into the steering wheel yelling how "motherfucking annoying you are, I really don't get it" blah blah blah.

People have told me to try and get disability, since there has been people that are told/have to since they can't work without causing huge problems. My neighbor has both ADHD and Bipolar and doesn't work(he's like 40-50, though) and I personally want to work, as much as I sometimes like to sit at home not being around other people, I want to try and work. Being stuck in a house almost 24/7 for over 10 years isn't something I want to go right back into. There's only been one job where I haven't had anyone yell at me. I really don't know why I'm typing all this? But I kinda want to go to the doctor sooner than later, since I used to be really good at controlling myself but now I seem to be loosing my grip and getting angry easily like I used too, or just not coping with things.

I still don't know why I made this thread/typed everything out but I guess within the next month or so, I might be less obnoxious? If my doctor does anything anyways. I used to sleep decently when I took the meds too... that's something that I probably wouldn't mind again. Instead of doing chores at 4-5am.


tl;dr, i don't know.

[Prince]

Austiiin, this post made me sad.

Not really sure what to post saying, but just hang in there and don't let yourself go. ^_^

When's you're appointment?

[Prinny]

I mind as well post cause I read through all of it lol, but hope going to the doctor helps

[Hind]

I hope everything works out for you!

About the work thing... you never know, you may find or read about a job that can suit you fine! Don't give up at all

[Prince]

When's you're appointment?

OHGOD WHAT WAS (IS?) WRONG WITH ME?! x.x

*your

[Gbm]

OHGOD WHAT WAS (IS?) WRONG WITH ME?! x.x

*your

You probably came up with that post too quickly.

It is near the end Feb, though, it will more than likely be earlier since my grandfather wants to see how much of an ass the doctor is. He's been giving my mom a ...hard time.. lately.



I'm wondering if @Prinny will see his.

And I'm sure I will find a job at one point where I'll be the only asshole at instead of being surrounded by them. One of the two kids I mentioned looks to run over animals and shit.

[Prince]

You probably came up with that post too quickly.

Bloody premature posting.

[Prinny]

You probably came up with that post too quickly.

It is near the end Feb, though, it will more than likely be earlier since my grandfather wants to see how much of an ass the doctor is. He's been giving my mom a ...hard time.. lately.



I'm wondering if @Prinny will see his.

And I'm sure I will find a job at one point where I'll be the only asshole at instead of being surrounded by them. One of the two kids I mentioned looks to run over animals and shit.

See what ?

Speaking of jobs.. I got hired at this one Boba shop (: my friend texted me at like 3 am a week ago or so asking if I want a job making drinks. I was pretty drunk at the time and I just got home so was like uhh sure.. didn't know if she meant alcholic drinks or what but anyways.. I basically walked in a got hired. All the people there at the time were people that the bosses knew and etc well besides me lolo. It was going pretty great at first like ALL girls a few of them were HOT a few were pretty attractive and there weren't really any there were like ew besides the old people working there but that doesn't count.. it was going good till this girl working there brought in a bunch of her friends like alllll guys and then our schedules got all messed up.. hours cut and everything. So instead of working 20+ hours.. I'm working 13 hours now or so and there's this one girl that I really connected with and I only work with her once a week instead of like 2 or 3 times and this other girl that I really liked working with.. I'm not working with her at alllllllllllllllllllll

It's minimum wage so I won't be getting much, but at least it'll be easy and there'll be some money coming in at least. Aw well hmm